Fallen for Ramen
by CapturedByNoodles
Summary: How did Naruto Uzumaki, resident flunkey and notorious optimist, end up hanging off the ledge of the biggest, most influential corporation in Japan? Because of ramen. In his journey to save his favorite place to eat, he confronts his past and begins to fall for the very person who threatens the sanctum of egg noodles everywhere: his old high school rival, Sasuke Uchiha.
1. The Uprising

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, but if I did . . . well, there would be changes. Big changes.

**Author's Rant**: So...I've had this idea for a while. I've just been too much of a coward to actually go through with writing it. I even wrote this big, seven page outline on how I wanted the story to go, but I just ended up staring at it and putting it somewhere in the back of my desktop. This is my first fic, I beg you, be gentle. I bruise easily. Recently I've been trying to write just for fun, so even if this fic is tasteless and silly, I really enjoyed it, and I hope to make it at least more then twenty chapters. I really hope all of you somewhat find it amusing, and if you do like it I'll try to update as frequently as I can.

And if you don't, well at least I tried. But I swear I'm going to give this one my all and hopefully improve in due time.

**Warnings: **AU setting, same sex relationships, language, geeky references, and continuous praise for Ramen.

* * *

**The Uprising**

* * *

Life has this sick, twisted tendency to play jokes on good, unsuspecting people, and sadly...he was the butt of the joke.

This hadn't gone according to plan. Nope.

Not at all.

But if he looked at the bright side of this terribly embarrassing shift fest, he'd have learned two things. One: never trust what you see in video games, (you would think that would be obvious). And two: to never, ever, _**EVER, **_ask your best friend for advice when he has the IQ of a five year old.

Because you see, sneak attacks looked way cooler in video games. Naruto played them all the time. He'd sit at home with a head set on and a bowl of ramen in his lap, charging the enemy lines like an expert hit man with the stealth of a world class ninja.

However _this _was life, and _this _was the very definition of uncool.

The sun kissed blond knew if this were to go down in history, it would go down as the worst attack on a corporate organization since, well—he couldn't think of anything off the top of his head, but he was pretty sure that among the tons of failed rebellions, this one would take the cake.

Naruto had always been bad at history.

It had actually been his worst subject in high school; a time where he _wasn't _clinging to the edge of a ledge for dear life.

Cars skidded to a stop below to watch his body swing helplessly in the breeze, his fingers moist with sweat and threatening to slip. Ten stories up didn't seem that high to the casual observer, oh no, but when you're _seconds_ away from kissing the cool pavement of an expensive parking lot, you think otherwise. You _really _think otherwise.

Sure he hadn't lived a great life. His high school experience, after all, had been filled with painful jabs at his intelligence and appearance. Now that he thought about it, there were even a few instances where he hadn't had a roof over his head, and eating was as scarce as finding a pair of clean clothes to wear. But in the face of it all, he hadn't complained. If he had picked up on anything during these few years of occupying the earth, it would have been the importance of perseverance: and God did he have a **lot** of it.

Determination and guts, that's what he lived by since his parents died when he was young. His guardian, Jiraiya, had always been the biggest motivator when it came to standing up for what you believed in. He could see the old geezer now, even as he stared death in the face. The gray haired pervert would be hunched over, eyes scanning a book and the fresh imprint of a well-manicured hand staining his left cheek.

"Naruto,'' the deviant would say, wrinkled lips curved into an amused smile, "There's a method to my madness." And when the old coot kicked the can, he finally understood what he meant.

Yes, Jiraiya had spent the entirety of his life chasing after unattainable women and writing erotic novels. Some might even say the guy was bat-shit crazy after the number of restraining orders he had towards the end of his career; but if there was one thing his nephew Naruto admired, is that he never gave up on his dream. . .even if it was a disgusting, sex driven one.

From then on, that principle lived and grew into the vibrant, aggressive force, that is Naruto Uzumaki, and to hell with anyone who wanted to change him. A college dropout, an expert gamer, the life of the party, an entertainer: he was known by many names, because he was a great multitasker. And although he hadn't found a stable job in years after graduating high school, he still kept his head held high. Because he's Naruto, that's why.

Twenty one and still looking for his calling, the lively man jumped from miscellaneous job to job, radiating fresh, unnatural cheer. Golden spikes of luscious hair poked out from every corner, and a radiant, luminescent grin paved the way to raises and easy promotions. Naruto was, in every sense, the perfect worker. Every establishment was happy to have him, and unlike most workers, he actually _enjoyed _working.

So what happened?

How did Naruto Uzumaki, resident flunkey and notorious optimist, end up hanging off the ledge of the biggest, most **_influential_** corporation in Japan?

Frightened screams and flashes from cameras snapped him back to the chaos in the present. The sound of an ambulance from below did **nothing** to soothe his already jumping nerves as the weight of his body became heavier and heavier.

Well, that's easy.

As cliché as it sounds, it all started over a bowl...of Ichiraku Ramen.

* * *

"Three bowls of Miso ramen, ready to go! Get it while it's hot!"

Amber locks weaved through the small crowd of people blocking the sitting stools, and cerulean hues sparkled with so much excitement it could rival a child's on Christmas morning. Not too graciously, tanned limbs stretched to snatch its much deserved prize, while pink lips parted to inhale the sweet aroma that so seductively serenaded him.

Ichiraku Ramen, his _one _and_ only _true love was looking very attractive today.

"About time old man, I was dying here!"

"Slow down there lover boy, it won't go anywhere," the restaurant owner teased, patting the counter in an attempt to sit Naruto down.

Every day, at exactly 3:25 PM, the boy would come in to divide and conquer. After his uncle died when he was thirteen, the old man had left him with many things. Jiraiya had bestowed upon him wisdom, a house, and also a lifetime's supply of **debt**_. _In his will it read that his nephew, Naruto, would be paying off all his loose ends if he were to ever pass away. When Naruto read the staggering decree, he could only ask why? Why would he leave him with something like this? The assholes reasoning? At the end of the note it read: _"There's a method to my madness."_

That damned, spineless bastard.

During his constant struggle to pay the perverts dues, Ichiraku's had become the only beacon of hope in his life. With a few bowls of ramen in his hand and the day's turmoil in the other, the troubled youth would divulge his day in a sloppy fashion, all the while shoveling down the food hazardously into his never ending pit of a stomach. This had been the ritual. Even after years have passed he was so well known around these parts he had a stool reserved just for _him_. And currently, his ass was planted on it, chowing down the divine broth along with his distress.

"So I quit my job toway—..!" The boisterous blond muffled through obstreperous slurps. Juices and other unlovely fluids flew in different directions, hitting random civilians. **Stop**, **drop**, and **roll**. This was a special rule Ichiraku customers heeded now whenever the monster of a man came to devour the delectable egg noodles.

"Mmmgh, I shtill down't know whawt I wanna do yet. Kiba tinks' I should go 'ack to collwege but I'm shtill stumped. Can I work here for ah while? Pweaaase?"

"Naruto, don't talk with your mouth full." Teuchi scolded.

"But it's shoooooooooooo gewd...!"

Ayame, Teuchi's daughter and heir to the Ichiraku legacy, poked her head through the kitchen door with a faint giggle; she could recognize that desperate voice from a mile away.

"Oh hey Ayame!" Naruto gleefully said, flashing her his famous, million watt smile. Despite the solemn expression on her face, that smile compelled her to perk up and warmly greet him back. It was infectious, and that's what people loved about Naruto. He could brighten up even the cloudiest of days.

Noticing the tension in the room, Naruto carefully placed his chopsticks by his bowl and stared at the two of them in confusion. "Why the long faces you guys?" He was slightly disturbed by the eerie silence that followed. Usually all three of them would embark on light, casual conversation, but today was different somehow. Even the ramen lacked its luster, and that _never _happened. That was a sign of impending **doom**.

"We have to tell him eventually, dad." Ayame started hesitantly, taking a seat next to Naruto with the hopes of cushioning the blow. Even the old man wore an unnerving look on his face, and at this point the ramen had long gone cold, reflecting the expression of its languishing maker.

"Tell me what?"

"Naruto, today's our last day..."

A nauseous feeling settled inside the boys stomach. Something wasn't right here.

"Last day? Oh I know! You guys are going on a vacation, right? And you want me to take over the shop while you're gone. Hehe! If you think I'm not cut out for it, I promise you—"

"—no, we're closing for good."

Ayame looked absolutely crestfallen.

It took a while for the information to sink in. Naruto even put a finger in his ear and searched for any wax. For _something_ to justify not having heard him right. But once it did process, he shot up in his stool and jumped to his feet, throwing his hands back in disbelief. Remaining customers watched in mute disturbance as the stool fell, and Naruto began to have a monumental freak out coupled with rapid hand motions and sharp breaths.

"What?! What are you talking about Mr. Teuchi?! Are you senile?!"

"Naruto..."

"Do you know how crazy that is?! Do you two HEAR yourself right now?"

"Naruto."

"This isn't a joke, seriously, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

"NARUTO!"

Naruto fell silent as the wrinkled shop keeper placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it hard. His eyes read there was **nothing **he could do.

"But why?" He croaked, "WHY is Ichiraku's closing down? Everyone loves this place!"

"Have you noticed where we're located?" The girl replied with a sigh, fixing her apron before heading towards the storage room.

"Where you're located?" What was that supposed to mean?

"You're saying that you _missed it?" _The owner said with sheer disbelief. He didn't think Naruto would be this incredibly dense.

"Ayame, close shop. Naruto, come with me."

The two of them stepped outside and Teuchi motioned for him to take a few steps back.

"Do you see it now?"

Naruto blinked and shook his head. Hell, all he saw was the gorgeous, celestial lights on the sign that said _Ichiraku Ramen. _Just what was he supposed to be looking at? His eyebrows were closely knitted together in thought, eyes scrutinizing the scene. It was only a few moments after that the blond got a hold of the bigger picture, or in this case, the bigger building. It looked so out of place next to the quaint, family owned shop, it was almost criminal. There, standing proudly in all its arrogance, was the 50-foot tower of Mangekyou Corp. headquarters, looking almost blinding in the afternoon sun.

Like a bully on the playground it loomed almost dangerously over Ichiraku's, making it look microscopic and almost shabby in comparison. Naruto wouldn't admit it out loud, but it made his favorite place look like an eyesore when placed next to its lavished, translucent windows. He only hadn't noticed it before because he didn't care about a bunch of rich snobs. He cared about his ramen, and his peripheral vision played favorites.

"We got this in the mail today," Teuchi pulled out a neatly handwritten letter. "Saying we had thirty six hours before they would bulldoze the place. Apparently we're in their way and they could use the space for something more...productive," he finished bitterly. Naruto silently bristled as his nails dug into the palm of skin. He could taste acid on his tongue.

The soft _click _of a metal lock only confirmed the nightmarish truth.

As silver chains encased the shop an hour later, Naruto swore he felt his heart drop.

"We're sorry...Naruto." Ayame said softly. Her head was lowered to the ground and her shoulders shook with unshed tears.

Father and daughter promised they'd keep in touch, both of them taking off their cooking aprons before waving a somber goodbye. Helplessly Naruto watched them until they disappeared down the street, and when they finally were out of sight he redirected his gaze towards the source of his despair.

"Who the **fuck **do you think you are, huh?" he said with a sneer, flipping his middle finger at the colossal tower of horrors. If this was Hell, he was ready to smite the devil. He stomped down the sidewalk so hard he almost caused dents. Small children cringed in fear at the crazy man cussing at unknown strangers, angrily kicking at any wall he could find. Forcing open the door to his apartment with an irritant huff, the smell of piss and dog excrement's didn't do anything to make him feel better. He wanted to wring his friend's neck for this.

"Welcome back bro...-Whoa! What's wrong? You look like Hell froze over."

"Shut up."

Oh how he wished it had so all those tight-assed bastards could freeze with it.

His roommate and best friend Kiba Inuzuka took a seat next to him on the couch, obnoxiously propping his feet on the coffee table. "What took you so long today? I thought you quit your job," Akamaru hopped onto the cushion adjacent of his, nuzzling into the warmth of his master's body.

"I was at Ichiraku's dog breath, and hey, don't tell me you can't smell that," Naruto seethed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That _thing_ reeks."

Kiba immediately took offense to the statement before tenderly placing his beloved pup on the floor. "Don't insult Akamaru like that, you hear me?" He reached under the cushion to pop open a can of beer, averting his gaze from those sapphire orbs. He didn't know what Naruto's problem was, but he knew if he didn't stop acting like a jackass he would kick him out faster then he could blink.

For Naruto, it was funny to see the other get riled up over his dog, but at the same time he knew that he had crossed the line. After all, Akamaru was like family to Kiba, and like Naruto he cherished the only family he had. Instant regret seeped into his core knowing he had only been bitter about losing _his only _family today. So with a flustered smile he turned towards the brunet and sincerely offered an apology.

"Sorry 'Kib's...''

A silence ensued before the other male gave him a toothy grin. "Apology accepted, Narutard.''

This is why they were best buds.

"So,'' Kiba threw a Miller Lite at Naruto, watching him catch it with ease, "What crawled up your ass and died today?"

"Your mom," the other stated bluntly with a snort, chugging the cheap brand of alcohol down in only a few gulps.

"Oooh! Ouch! Someone's being a diva today._ Seriously_, what the hell happened that's got you in sucha' bitch mood?"

Dejected, and being the light weight that he was, he spilled the beans in a matter of seconds. "Some corporate dickwad made Ichiraku's shut down."

"You're fucking kidding me."

"Nope."

Well of course that's what had Naruto fired up. Ichiraku's had been there for Naruto during some pretty rough times. Kiba remembered back in high school when the poor guy would get picked on every day by that pale prick Uchiha, and how Naruto would drag him over to Ichiraku's to bitch about it. Or the time when the bastards heart got crushed because that tramp Sakura played with his feelings, and that other time when the snow princess Neji decided it'd be cool to beat him up after school for kicks.

Some people drowned their sorrows in booze.

This guy drowned it in ramen.

Kiba had tried his best to help Naruto during those times, even threatening to go ape-shit on that arrogant Uchiha because he was _dying _to have a whack at him, but Naruto never let him. The thing about his best friend was, when he's got beef with someone, he felt the need to do things on his own. Never asking for help and never backing down, Kiba watched the idiot charge through school, and life, with a grin on his face.

_Pop!_

The dumb ass was on his third can of booze and Kiba could sympathize with how he was feeling. He almost felt bad that there was nothing he could do for him. Nothing except...—

"Fuck I just had a great idea!" Kiba chortled, almost doubling over from the insanity of it all. Naruto was laughing hysterically at the television, slurring, "Adventuree time!"

When ramen wasn't an option, alcohol was a good placeholder.

"Hey, stupid! Listen to me for a sec!"

The blond heaved a heavy sigh and reluctantly tore his eyes away from his favorite show. It almost looked like it killed him to do so.

"Remember that time in high school? When the school committee wouldn't let me bring Akamaru to class?"

The whiskered drunkard dumbly nodded.

"And do ya remember what I did to get them to change their mind?"

"Who wouldn't remember?" Naruto snickered. Kiba's antics had been all over the news that year. He remembered a crowd of people staring in shock and awe at the brunet who had scaled the building with a megaphone, droning on and on about animal rights. Apparently, not letting Akamaru attend school was discriminatory against intelligent, hairy creatures everywhere, and that could fall into context with a number of things. _"I could name shit loads of people that are dumber than Akamaru in this school!" _The dog lover had declared, _"Just because he's on four legs doesn't make him lesser then any of us! Hell, we sniff each other's asses every day to get by in this school, you condescending jerks!"_ And finally, after hours of coaxing his best friend down, they let Akamaru attend class with him.

Kiba's lips were curved into a mischievous smile, eye glimmering with the fires of insubordination.

He hadn't been this pumped since that faithful day.

"Why don't you show those assholes what Ichiraku's _really _means to you?"

It didn't take a genius to know where his best friend was going with this, and whether it was the alcohol talking or the incessant need to take revenge, Naruto stood up from that couch with new found vigor and started to plot.

* * *

"Your life **has **meaning to it! Please, get **off **the building so we can talk about this!"

So everything didn't go exactly as planned.

Hanging off of the ledge like a leech, Naruto was thankful he had so much upper body strength. If he hadn't been in all those sports programs in high school this would have ended much more quickly, and much more gruesomely.

No, Naruto didn't like the idea of being a pancake on the sidewalk soon, and if he could go back in time and do this a little differently, he would have.

Sneaking into the building hadn't been the difficult part.

Oh no.

In fact, he was a little surprised that Kiba was so good with the ladies, considering the stench of his flea bag seeped from every pore of his body. While his best friend distracted the secretary with some small talk, Naruto had been on all fours crawling past the information desk and into the nearest elevator. Tucked under his arm were a bullhorn and a sign that said **_S_**_ave the **R**amen,_ ready to be displayed to the public.

The entire size of this place disgusted him. Corporate stuck ups leisurely went about their day in their tailored clothes and Gucci shoes, and the whole building was decked out with fancy cafes and offices twice the size of his apartment. The alcohol in his veins impaired his ability to think, and although the logical part of his brain was screaming this was a bad idea, it was quickly mutilated by the hope that his favorite place would have a promised future.

The heartbroken faces of Teuchi and Ayame flickered briefly before his eyes.

It was all the motivation he needed to commit what would soon be, the stupidest idea in existence.

Once in the elevator, Naruto decided that the middle level would be the best place to do this. He figured that if he went to the highest floor, there would be a bigger chance of security catching him since the company president probably worked there.

As the doors opened to the tenth floor, he could have sworn he heard someone cough from behind him. But focused on his mission Naruto brushed it off as his imagination, quickly navigating towards the immaculate windows with abnormal speed. But the thing about alcohol is...the average male didn't have much balance when he was drunk off his ass.

So now here he was.

"Oh god he's going to jump!" Someone he didn't know shrilled.

Naruto Uzumaki, resident flunkey and notorious optimist, was going to die.

"Holy shit man, fucking fuck!" Kiba was hollering from below, crouched on his knees. He was freaking out.

He didn't know what to do.

He knew he **needed **to get up there somehow and save him, but the police were blocking his way.

Out of his wits with worry and fear, Kiba almost blacked out on the spot until a rich, baritone voice seethed from behind him.

"What the _hell _is going on here?"

Eyes holding the world in contempt scanned the sea of people currently breathing up _his _air. An Armani suit adorned the shoulders of smooth ivory, and pale lips upturned into the making of a sneer. As coal orbs fixated on the brunet whose eyes widened twice their size, Kiba Inuzuka could think one thing, and one thing only.

"You have **gotta** be shittin' me..."

* * *

**Author's closing notes: **Who is this mystery man?! (We all have a hunch.) Will Naruto fall to his death?! WILL ICHIRAKU'S BE SAVED? WILL THE SWEET BROTH EVER BE TASTED AGAIN?! **Review?** (loves hearing your opinions.) I've never written Naruto before so I'd like to know if I'm doing ok.

Well...I know what's going to happen and where all this is heading, but I honestly don't know if this is good enough to continue. If you guys liked it, please let me know ^^;;. This is my first fic and I'm wondering how I'm doing here.

Thank you so much for reading! I'm going to have the next chapter up in a few days.


	2. The Meeting

**Disclaimer:** You guys know the drill. I don't own Naruto. But god if I did...then, well, Neji wouldn't...-I'm not saying it but if you know what I'm talking about, you can fill in the blanks.

**Author's Rant**: Here's chapter two of Fallen for Ramen! I struggled. Very much. I actually wanted to update on Friday so I would have a set date every time. A close friend of mine told me that if you have set dates, it's easier to motivate yourself to never miss a beat on updating. However, I decided I'd post it a day early due to being anxious. I'm incredibly nervous with how this chapter turned out. Honestly, this is the first time I've ever written a Naruo fic. I wanted to in the past, but something always kept me from doing so...I finally know why. Sasuke is just a very complex character.

I'd like to thank Lo, FF account: Of Fans And Flames, for always looking over my final drafts and giving me some insane tips, (as well as catching snip its of grammatical errors). If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't be confident enough to continue. You're always encouraging me and I really, really appreciate it. I'd also like to say I was, without a doubt, inspired by the relationship between Lo and his boyfriend Sam (affectionately dubbed Naru). You guys are. . .just adorable. You seriously helped my muse.

Now without further adieu, chapter two. [Hey that rhymed.]

**Warnings for this Chapter:** Language, cunning, incredibly dumb references, the appearance of someone we all know and love, more idiotic ideas, a Kiba in hysterics, and a very, very, unhappy Naruto.

* * *

**The Meeting  
**

* * *

Perfection.

It wasn't easily attainable.

Some people even thought it to be a myth.

The degenerates, the idiots of human society who agonized over their own insecurities, said it was impossible. There was no such thing as perfection, because no matter how much you tried there would always be a flaw.

Inadequacy was accepted.

Inadequacy was _welcomed._

That is, until the inadequacy's themselves feasted their eyes upon Sasuke Uchiha. He stood above them all, a contradiction. Like the king of kings he never spared anyone a glance. His body oozed confidence with each lethal step he took, and his face, a chiseled ivory, was worth more money than all the jewels in the world. If one were lucky enough to reach out and touch it, their hand would be the equivalence of royalty; but nobody had ever been that lucky. Nobody will ever be that _privileged._ With an expression that exhibited apathy, but eyes burning with superiority, the divine male parted his lips to speak . . . and if you valued your life, you would listen.

"You're fired."

As the words echoed inside the multimillion dollar office, a pair of sapphire eyes widened in disbelief, looking for some trace of humor. The bleached blond almost blinded him the moment she walked into his office, combing her hands through her dried curls flirtatiously.

"Oh Sasuke, you don't mean that _baby_," The delusional women cooed, and to add to the repulsion she had the audacity to bat her eyes; it did not succeed in making her more desirable. Rubbing his temples Sasuke wondered why he hired this creature in the first place. It obviously wasn't because of her looks, which paled in comparison to previous hires, but rather, that she did her work. It was mediocre work but she got the job done. And if it wasn't for her persistent advances he _might_ have even considered keeping her around.

But the sunny abomination remained ever determined in her resolve to have him inside of her.

The secretary sauntered over to his chair and pressed herself flush against his body. Her recently painted fingernails scraped against the side of his thighs, and to his disgust, her body reeked of toxic fumes. She really over killed it on the perfume.

"I can make you feel _really_ good..." she purred. He could only watch between a mixture of shock and bemusement as the women lowered herself between his legs, and slid herself down slowly in an attempt to appear seductive. The tips of her fingers had not even brushed against his zipper before the raven spoke. He swore he saw her dripping fluids onto his Kirman carpet. That fabric she was kneeling on was worth more than the breath in her lungs.

"Get out."

"B-but Sasuke..."

"Get. Out." He said again lowly, tiredly.

A soft sigh escaped his lips, eyes narrowing into slits. It was bad enough that he had a migraine now, but to make matters worse he had to look for a new assistant as well. That took time, and time was money. Each second she spent sitting there looking like a deer in headlights he could have used finding a replacement. So with a click of his tongue he tapped the button on his intercom and reached for a bottle of Tylenol inside his drawer.

"Security."

"_Yes Mr. Uchiha?"_

His eyes flitted over to the desperate female briefly; she looked about close to tears.

"Please escort Ms. Kuchiko out of the building."

"_Yes sir."_

It was funny how she lost all modesty once the muscles showed up. She kicked and she screamed, slurring uncharacteristically as they dragged her by the soles of her shoes out the door. He laughed dryly when he noticed one of her fake eyelashes falling off in an attempt to claw at his body guard's face. How pathetic.

Leaning back in his chair, blank eyes watched as they forcefully escorted her off the premises. This had been the fifth ''assistant'' this week to come onto him, and the frustrated Uchiha contemplated where women breed these days. Surely whatever was happening to the female population was hazardous. They acted like savages in the presence of the opposite sex.

Running his hands through his hair, the raven basked in some much deserved silence. But if he knew any better, it wouldn't be a surprise if another hindrance showed up to grate on his nerves.

"Another one, Sasuke?"

Perhaps he spoke too soon.

The man scowled, reluctantly looking up to meet eyes with none other then his brother. Behind that placid facade he knew he was humored; humored at another one of his slip ups. This knowledge, accompanied with his ever growing headache, made Sasuke all the more irritable. The resentment only grew tenfold as he watched the taller man shake his head slowly in mock disappointment, allowing a smirk to grace his lips.

"When is the madness going to end, little brother?"

Crimson tinted hues glinted with the makings of something ominous. Itachi knew something that Sasuke didn't, and that alone was dangerous.

No.

It was grossly unacceptable.

"I'm busy, Itachi,'' he replied indifferently, straightening some documents on his desk, ''I don't have time for small talk.''

"But you have time to play around with your secretary?"

"_Former _secretary,'' he hissed, ''I just fired her."'

"Hm..."

Itachi stood his ground regardless of the obvious indication that he was not welcomed. He knew his sibling had a flare for the dramatic, and if he knew any better, he was probably working himself to death in this office in spite of the obvious accommodations. It had been a while since the two of them got along. Itachi recalled a time, vaguely, when they had both been on speaking terms. But it was years ago, when his brother had been disconcerted with becoming the heir to the company.

Although Sasuke never realized it, Itachi had hoped he would follow his own path and break away from his father's influence. However, once Fugaku and Mikoto passed away when Sasuke was still in high school, the burden of carrying on the Uchiha legacy had weighed down on his brothers conscience. The older man could only watch helplessly as his younger brother became cold and vindictive, almost a mirror image to his father's old ways.

Despite the callous behavior and the complete disregard for anyone else's emotions, Itachi still believed that deep down, there was hope for reprieve. Especially after witnessing what he saw today.

The chuckle that was threatening to spill from his lips was hard to control. The memory of a certain sandy-haired power house inside the building tugged his lips into a wicked smile. He had noticed him on his way up to see his beloved little brother.

That hope was beginning to grow into an inevitability.

"Come to lunch with me. We have things to discuss."

A thin brow twitched in annoyance; Sasuke had more important things to be doing. The week's meeting still needed to be planned, and as the CEO he has to oversee the month's finances and look for opportunities for new industrial developments. Rules needed to be implemented. The staff needed to be more competent and the work load needed to be _doubled_. He wasn't pleased with the way new hires were handpicked. The level of slack was at an all-time high and it was about time he did some firing, in _every _department.

Oh.

He also needed a new secretary.

"I'm not hungry, Itachi," the man hissed indignantly through clenched teeth.

"It wasn't a question, Sasuke."

Sasuke thanked his lucky stars he had patience.

Prying himself out of his office chair he scribbled a few reminders down on a notepad and followed his pestering sibling out of the building. Employees stopped to greet him while he made his way to the elevator, but he gave no effort to respond. Itachi sighed at the rudeness. Regardless of his age his little brother, indubitably, acted like a child.

"How is the expansion coming along?" He inquired blandly, watching the numbers light up as they passed each floor.

"That's none of your concern."

The older man smirked at the tactless response. So foolish.

Sasuke may be the company's Chief Executive Officer, but _he _had the highest portion of its shares in every branch, not just including the ones in Tokyo. Not to mention he was the president, so it was a bit detrimental to be vague regarding subjects that concerned him.

"I noticed that you evicted one of the neighborhoods finest ramen shops,'' That seemed to pique his brother's interest. ''If I recall, there are many who are displeased with this course of action, Sasuke. Why didn't you consult me first?"

"It's for the company's benefit,'' the other answered impassively, "People will get over it."

"I'm not so sure about that."

Sasuke sneered, folding his arms across his chest. "And why is that?"

"Because if memory serves me, I believe there is one resident in the area who will be incredibly angry with the news."

There was a long stretch of silence between them. The younger raven's eyes gave it away that he knew who Itachi was talking about.

Glaring into oblivion, Sasuke balled up his fists at the memory of the blond. He hadn't seen that idiot in years. He still remembered that goofy smile. The way that unruly hair mapped tanned features, jutting out in outlandish directions. It almost seemed like yesterday when his fist collided with the fiends. They had fought so many times during those days he had lost count.

"Hn."

Why he was even sparing that fool a thought was beyond him, but the bigger question was, _why did Itachi bring him up in the first place?_

As they reached the lobby the two were greeted with a stunning sight. The entire hallway was desolate. Itachi had anticipated this but he hadn't thought things would escalate so soon. His expression was void of emotion as he glanced over at his brother. If he had been correct, the intoxicated man who sneaked into the elevator earlier had indeed been Naruto Uzumaki; and Naruto Uzumaki had always been a great source of entertainment.

"What's the meaning of this, Itachi?!"

Sasuke was livid.

There were no guards, no workers, and soon their would be people with **no jobs. **

The eldest Uchiha watched with amusement as his sibling stormed out through the double doors, shocked to see his workers staring up at the sky. It took all that, coupled with screaming civilians and a wailing brunet hugging himself on the curb of the side walk, to make the man finally lose his temper. This had to be a nightmare.

"Oh god he's going to jump!"

Sasuke's veins throbbed.

Someone was committing suicide, and they chose _his _building to do it on.

Like all chaotic situations there were always people around to make it worse. Crowds gathered around the spot they supposed the stranger would land on, clearly intent on seeing the calamity through till the very end. The CEO backpedaled to get a good look, and hanging by the tips of his fingers was someone he thought he wouldn't see in a while.

At first, he hadn't recognized him. However, it wasn't until he got a good look that his mind finally clicked. Decked out in an obnoxious orange T shirt and some jeans was the same imbecile from three years ago: and he was currently about to make love with his newly renovated pavement.

"Holy shit man, fucking fuck!" A familiar voice howled from behind him.

Licking his wounds was Kiba Inuzuka. If he remembered correctly, he had also been a classmate of his. This _thing_ and the loser had been the best of friends. This would have been humorous given a different situation, but with the canine barking a barrage of slurs at an incredibly fast pace he was finding it difficult to feel anything but utter annoyance. "What the _hell _is going on?" He finally hissed, watching that trap flap shut, only to open again. If his mouth stretched any wider Sasuke was confident he would catch flies.

"You have **gotta** be shittin' me..."

"As usual you have quite the colorful vocabulary."

Kiba stood up and glared, "I don't have time for your shit Uchiha, I don't even know why the fuck you're here, but my buddy's up there you got it?!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"This is _my _building.''

"Wait, waitwait- Hold on! You're telling _me, _that_ you_ own this place?"

"I also own the sidewalk that you're sitting on, and the oxygen you're currently breathing."

**"FUCK!" **

Sasuke watched the brunet stand up and point his finger at him accusingly, "You're THAT CORPORATE **CUNT** WHO SHUT DOWN ICHIRAKU'S! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!"

The pale man sighed irritably. That headache was coming back. He was about ready to choke the savage until another gasp was heard from the crowd. Looking up, Sasuke felt cold dread sweep over him at the sight of Naruto hanging by _one _hand. Now, Uchiha's would never admit they were nervous, but at that very moment something akin to it was making him uneasy. His hands had unintentionally balled at his sides, knuckles turned white from the intensity of his gaze.

He knew what he was about to do was completely out of his element.

But if the worse came to worse, he would blame it all on Itachi.

"Hey-Where are you going?!" Kiba called after him, seeing the raven turn and head back in the direction of the building. If he didn't know any better, he could have sworn he saw Sasuke _running _but that could have been just his imagination.

* * *

"Not good! _So_ not good!"

Holy crap did things take a turn for the worst.

Naruto was sober now. Completely and utterly sober.

He must have lost all traces of alcohol when he _pissed _himself, because the reality of the situation was slapping him rather hard in the face.

He needed a miracle and stat.

Just give him a damned miracle and he swore he would be a better person.

Silently, the young man promised to whatever higher power there was that if he made it through this, he would do anything. He'd kiss a baby, find the cure for cancer, volunteer at a soup kitchen or even donate his body to science; Naruto was desperate. He'd even go as far as to buying his roommates dog a king sized bed and apologizing for his insolence to the almighty furry Buddha in the sky. **Anything** if it meant not suffering a painful, and rather quick, death.

His eyes screwed shut as his fingers nails dug into the ledge, turning blue from constraint. Nope, he wasn't going to make it and he still had a whole list of things he wanted to do with his life; one of them included not dying a sexless virgin.

This just sucked.

Naruto felt his hand slip and his scream caught in his throat. This was it. Soon he would be joining his pervy uncle in what he assumed would be heaven, that is, if the old man even made it there in the first place. He braced himself for the fall, hoping that when he did land it wouldn't be on his face: except nothing came.

"You really are a complete _idiot,_" someone hissed from above him painfully, keeping him suspended by his wrist. When sky blue eyes clashed with the night sky, there was undeniably tension in the air.

It was so palpable you could cut it with a knife.

There he was, gaping like a retarded fish at someone he thought he would never see again in his life. Sasuke Uchiha had just saved him. The very same Sasuke Uchiha who had made his life a living hell in high school.

Yes.

The same bastard whose guts he severely hated.

"Y-you, what are YOU doing here?" Naruto rasped out. He had lost his voice in the face of complete panic, and no, he wasn't really referring to the situation at hand. This had to be the most fucked up day in his life.

"I'm saving your life, stupid,'' The pale male gritted out through his teeth, "Just shut up and help me here."

With all the strength he could muster Sasuke tried to lift Naruto back onto the ledge. His feet were propped against the window to keep him from falling with the male, and his back arched as he put all his effort into helping Naruto up. Naruto groaned and struggled to take a firm hold of the ledge, failing a few times with his grip which resulted in slurs directed at the source of who he dubbed life's greatest pain in the ass.

Once his whole body was safely resting against the achromatic wall, Sasuke coaxed the blond to make his way towards the window and back inside.

"What are you waiting for?" The Uchiha seethed upon seeing the other hadn't moved an inch. He hadn't been this antagonized in a while.

"I'm not moving till you tell me what you're doing here!" Naruto replied stubbornly. He didn't dare look down.

Sasuke stared. He couldn't believe this idiots level of complete and utter stupidity. Naruto was choosing a time like _this _to argue with him?

"This is _my _company, dead last. I should be asking _you _that."

"You're the guy that's responsible for Ichiraku Ramen?!"

He has got to be kidding.

"Don't tell me you snuck into this building for some run of the mill ramen shop," Sasuke jeered.

"Run of the-...! Why I oughtta...! YOU HAVE **NO** CLUE WHAT ICHIRAKU'S MEANS TO PEOPLE!"

"Get over it. Find a new place to eat."

"No!" Naruto screamed.

Sasuke was very close to shutting the window in his face and deserting him there, but he tried to keep his cool nonetheless. He was a businessman, and like any business proposition he just had to make an offer he knew Naruto wouldn't refuse. So taking a deep breath, he made his face devoid of any emotion and stared Naruto dead in the eyes.

"If you get inside, I won't press charges."

"You can stick it up yours! I'm not moving anywhere till you promise to leave Ichiraku's alone!"

Sasuke felt himself twitch.

"I can't do that."

"Then I can't move!"

This back and forth bickering once again reminded Sasuke who he was dealing with. This wasn't a potential employee nor was it a business deal, this was Naruto Uzumaki: and Naruto Uzumaki was a child through and through. Trying to reason with him was like trying to reason with a brick wall, and as the other wobbled, he felt the urge to punch him tingling at the tips of his fingers.

"Get inside, right now stupid! You're going to fall!"

Was that a scream? Uchiha's never screamed.

"Well it's either the ramen or I'm fallen! Take your pick!"

It was a pity the latter sounded good right now. Sasuke's lips curved into a sadistic smirk. If he wanted to go about it that way...

"Fine. Fall then. See if I care."

And right on cue Naruto was beginning to lose his balance.

Sasuke immediately retracted his previous statement, starting to feel a little anxious. In spite of it all, he never wanted something like that to happen, and seeing Naruto in danger had his stomach in knots.

He didn't know why he cared so much.

_No,_ he reasoned,he didn't _care. _He just didn't want blood all over his plaza.

"Naruto," Sasuke tried again, this time more patiently, "Get inside."

"No."

"Naruto."

"NO!"

Sasuke bit his lip. At this rate they would be at it all day, and he had doubts that the other would let up any time soon.

"I promise I won't get rid of Ichiraku's."

That seemed to do the trick.

Cerulean hues danced with, what he assumed to be hope. But they still held suspicion as Naruto puffed his cheeks childishly, clearly not buying it. Of course it was a blatant lie, but Sasuke was pressed for time. Not scared.

Never.

"I want it in writing!"

"Done. But only if you get inside."

It was a few minutes while Naruto pondered this. Hesitantly, the other shakily shifted his weight towards the nearest window, Sasuke's awaiting hand eager to help him inside. With a few deep breaths a sweaty palm made contact with the ravens, and as they touched, something weird bubbled up inside of Naruto. He quickly brushed it aside.

Nothing but ragged pants soon filled the empty office they were both kneeling on. The panic was over. Naruto was inside. The window was closed, the chaos had subsided, and Sasuke **really **needed to be heavily medicated. With how much he had been grimacing he wouldn't be surprised if he had wrinkles, and he swore he was seeing red. He exerted so much effort on someone he hadn't seen in years; it was physically draining. But the most infuriating part was he didn't know why.

He was tired, he was cranky, and god was he fed up. As a pair of police men made their way to the top floor, he cocked his head to the side, signaling what they needed to do. One of them helped him up as the other handcuffed Naruto, who struggled violently at the action and almost jabbed an officer with his elbow.

Tossing his body this way and that, the whiskered male called after Sasuke, demanding he be let go.

"Asshole! What about our deal?!"

Sasuke spared him a glance.

Their eyes locked in a heated battle before the businessman waved him off.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS BASTARD! I WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS!"

And throughout the whole day, Sasuke could still hear the others promise of revenge echoing from every cubicle.

* * *

**Author's closing notes: **Chapter two is complete! Will Naruto get out of jail? Will Sasuke ever change his mind? Reviews are always appreciated, it lets me know if I've made anyone's day or not.

I made Sasuke such an asshole here. That dick. Why can't he give Naruto his ramen shop? Sheesh. Is it really that hard for him to be nice for once? Itachi that sneaky, sneaky man.

Did I do ok?

Sorry if there were any typos. The whole time I was writing this I was listening to Overdone by Ludo. You should check them out if you haven't heard of them. That song in particular reminds me of Sasuke and his relationship with Naruto for some reason. Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read my crap. Honestly, the fact that I already have followers who want to read my amateur fic really lifts my spirits. You guys are too kind, really. T_T

Please tell me what you think.


	3. The Press

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto blah blah. You guys know I don't. (Doesn't understand why I still must say this.)

**Author's Rant**: Yes I'm late. So late it's not even funny. It was the holidays so I was pretty focused on my family and all the festivities. I just didn't have as much free time as I would have liked to finish this on the due date. Sorry I'm really late, I didn't intend on leaving anyone interested hanging...

Also another not-so-good reason...I was feeling a bit unmotivated to write this fic. I just felt really...discouraged. I know that's a silly reason, but I just feel like I'm going in an odd direction. I'm skeptical on where I'm heading with this fic, and even more skeptical whether I'm writing it well or not.

I'm sure everyone has had these doubts at some point, right?  
I'm just going to try to push through.

**Warnings for this Chapter: **Denial, nostalgia, and **humongous** hooters.

* * *

**The Press  
**

* * *

"Who was that man on the building?" An anxious voice shrilled from among a sea of maddened journalists, anxious for a juicy story. But no matter which method they used, the media soon found it was a futile effort to coax a response from the adamant business man.

They might as well be talking to a brick wall.

Three hours, thirty four minutes, and twenty six seconds, Itachi noted, had passed since the incident, and the paparazzi were in a frenzy. Like flies they buzzed around the building, salivating over anything they could find. However, it was ensured that nothing they acquired would be worth its weight in gold. After all, Itachi had a business to run. What kind of President would he be if he let anything slip that would jeopardize his enterprise?

A dead one. Because his younger brother Sasuke would surely kill him.

Their flocking did nothing to unsettle him. He remained completely and almost unnaturally unresponsive to their jeers. Running his finger through an inky strand of hair, Itachi pushed it behind his ear and smiled handsomely at the camera's in the lobby. His entire essence radiated a collected coolness that only an Uchiha could possess, and every person in the room became mesmerized as his lips parted to speak.

"Today's incident was due to a minor, but unfortunate breach of security,'' he stated smoothly and articulately, ''_Steps _have been taken to ensure that this will not happen again."

At this, nobody noticed the way a young woman in the corner of the room flinched, fiddling with the hem of her dress in an attempt to busy herself. Several minutes around a conference table was all it took to make one thing perfectly clear to her, and the rest of the workers on the first floor: another screw up would _not _be tolerated.

Itachi used no threats in conveying this, and he didn't fire any of the employees. But what he did say during that time, following a very brief, "Don't ever let it happen again,'' spoke volumes. Because it roughly translated too, _if you value your career, or any job in the vicinity of japan for that matter, you will do everything in your power to prevent this from happening again.  
_  
The snaps of cameras and the scribbling of pens took no notice of the pale, shaken faces of Mangekyou's staff. They remained fixated on the man in front of them who seemed completely at ease with himself and the rest of the world.

"The male who snuck onto our premises has been apprehended,'' he continued with a most reassuring gaze, "He has no connection to the company itself, and the reason as to why he came remains undisclosed. Any police files or records of the incident will not be made public." Itachi's eyes flickered dangerously to meet every person in the room, "and if such information is _ever divulged, _serious legal repercussions will befall anyone responsible."

This stirred a number of questions, many of which questioned the integrity of the company itself.

"Why the secrecy?"

"Was this a business ploy to draw attention to yourselves?" They pressed.

"What statement were they trying to make?"

But with a wave of his hand, he dismissed them, seeing as what needed to be said was said. This, of course, didn't settle well with anyone; and as he made his way to the elevators, a crowd of insatiable journalists followed in tow.

"Mr. Uchiha please, just a few more questions!"

"Was earlier some form of protest?!"

The doors closed and he could only hold back a chuckle. If _only_ they knew.

Although everything was handled quicker then he had anticipated, he was a tad exhausted as he watched the lights flicker from floor to floor. He had done a lot of work in the past few hours to clean up the blonde's mess, but at the end of the day he had one last thing to rectify: his brother's lack of discretion. The man stared apprehensively at the mess he stumbled upon when he got upstairs.

First and foremost, hiring a psychiatrist for his beloved brother was top priority.

Coffee blemished a once burnished mahogany desk, and papers lay scattered all over an office floor. It was clear that a tantrum had been thrown while he'd been cleaning things up, but as crimson tinted hues fell on the culprit, his concern morphed into disappointment. Thin fingers clacked furiously at a keyboard, and there were dark bags under his brother's eyes from strenuous and consistent work. It had been clear for a while that Sasuke was a workaholic, in a much similar fashion to his father.

Itachi was quick to hide the guilt slowly seeping into the creases of his face; Sasuke looked about seconds away from **breaking** his new laptop.

"Naruto was pretty upset earlier," he said carefully, gently placing the fallen cup back on the CEO's work space. His brothers mind was so fragile right now, he feared that even setting an object in the wrong place would break the fake oasis of silence Sasuke was currently sporting.

Sasuke visibly sneered. Like he cared whether or not that idiot was enjoying his luxurious stay in a jail cell.

A part of him hoped he would stay there.

''You didn't have to arrest him,'' Itachi continued on casually, noticing the immediate stiffness in his sibling's shoulders."That's a rather crass thing to do to an old friend, wouldn't you agree?"

The raven was quick when he responded with a biting, "We're not friends.'' But the swift response did nothing to faze his brother. Rather, it proved his speculations weren't as fanciful as they seemed. The strained atmosphere said it all. The only one Sasuke was trying to fool, was himself.

"At a time..." Itachi paused, choosing his next words carefully, "he was the closest thing to a friend that you had, Sasuke."

And that seemed to be the final straw.

Sasuke closed his laptop, now unable to focus, and folded his arms across his chest. The annoyance on his face was paramount. "I haven't talked to that..._moron _since high school."

However, there was something off about the way he said those words. It had meant to sound dispassionate, yet their seemed to be this pang of remorse over the very statement itself. Sasuke was as pale as a sheet. The very topic elicited a surge of memories he himself had placed on the back burner of his mind for quite some time. Memories that only served to stir more animosity.

"Now if you don't mind, I don't have the leisure to be reminiscing about the past."

Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose; he knew it wouldn't be this easy. Placing his hand on his brother's shoulder he wasn't surprised when Sasuke flinched. They rarely shared any physical contact with each other.

The atmosphere soon became incredibly awkward.

"Sasuke...all I'm saying is that you should be careful this time,'' Itachi spoke lowly, sincerely. His face softened, making him look ages younger then he was. "You won't get an _opportunity_ like this again."

But despite his best efforts to hide his surprise, Sasuke's voice faltered.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the raven rebutted not too graciously.

Itachi merely chuckled.

"Of course you don't."

The elders hand squeezed Sasuke in reassurance before pulling away and starting towards the door. This was all he could do. "I'm heading home, Sasuke. You should soon too."

"Hn."

It was up to Sasuke now whether he take this chance and lead himself down a different path, and as Itachi left the building on that dim evening, Sasuke downed a freight of coffee and promptly finished his memo.

All the while, he prattled under his breath about his older brother's foolishness.

* * *

_Boobs._

Somewhere along the way, Naruto forgot it was impolite to stare; but at this point he didn't care.

He was currently gaping, along with his other cellmates, at the most gigantic rack he had ever seen, and he had seen a _lot _of cleavage when he was younger. Living with Jiraiya would expose you to that much.

Shifting on the bench in his cell, he took a mental picture. His uncle would have had a seizure if he'd seen these.

They weren't the type of knockers that Naruto personally found attractive; they were just the type that'd make you pause and wonder how a person could carry that much weight. The woman obviously wasn't wearing a bra, and yet they held up on their own without a crane, or some type of machinery to support them. It was baffling. The blond twisted his head this way and that, trying to look for an answer in those round orbs only to find none. He couldn't imagine having tits that huge, and when he tried to, he ended up playfully poking at his own chest.

As immature as it was, it entertained him while he waited on Kiba to bail him out.

Thin sandy brows quirked upwards, a snarl etched onto the object of Naruto's fascination. Crossing her legs with the deadliest of glares, the female looked about ready to maul the whiskered man if he kept up that intense fixation on her triple D's. It took all the restraint she had not to bash his head into the nearest wall, so she settled on turning her body the opposite way.

The cops needed to hurry up and give her that _one _phone call.

"Hey, Lady..."

The former felt her temples throb.

"My name is Tsunade, kid." She replied crossly.

Naruto quickly apologized before trying to figure out what to say.

He knew what he wanted to ask, but he didn't know how to put it delicately; in the end, he just decided to be blunt about his inquisition.

"...are... those _things, real?" _He finally rasped out_.  
_

It took approximately half a second for Naruto to realize that he should have kept his mouth shut.

And it took the guards **forty five minutes **to dislodge his head from in between the cell bars.

* * *

**Author's closing notes: **Sorry this chapter was shorter then the others.

I already have most of the next chapter written and mapped out so it'll make up for the shortness. Please review so I can know how I'm doing?

Yay, we were introduced to Tsunade! Why is she in there, I wonder? (If any of you can guess how she ended up there _accurately_ I'll give you a cookie.) Try and think about it. And will Kiba bail Naruto out? What will Naruto do once he's out? Just sit by quietly? I think not.

And what of Sasuke and Naruto's past?

Hopefully, I'll have the next chapter up in a few days. I'll honestly try, but since I have school updates might be slow. If any of you are still interested, thanks a bunch.


	4. The Bad Idea

**Disclaimer: **Well. I don't own Naruto. If I did, every chapter would take a billion, trillions years: just like this one. I suck.

**Author's Rant**: I have no excuse for being so unbelievably late except that I honestly, genuinely, was discouraged and un-inspired to continue. But, the spark is back, and school has ended and-

God, for anyone still interested,_** I'm so sorry.**_ Really sorry. Extremeeeeeeeeeeeely. Excuse to hit me now. Go ahead, take a few whacks.

**Warnings: **More idiotic ideas. Violence. Inappropriate language.

* * *

**The Bad Idea  
**

* * *

A steel rod flew past a disgruntled man in his early fifties, telling him he could expect to miss _another _dinner that night. Pinching the bridge of his nose, the Chief of police lightly scratched the long scar that ran down his forehead before shaking his head in dismay. He could feel all the hairs on his head, scrunched into a top knot, stand on end as another terrifying screamed shook the station.

_'About two hours ago,'_ Shikaku thought grimly, staring at the source of the ruckus with critical eyes._ 'It all started about two hours ago.'_ The head of the Nara Police Department didn't know what was more frightening. Was it the fact that the jail bench had been ripped from the wall with bare hands? Or was it the sight of long time officers, inched into a corner in prayer, that made him take a step back to re access the situation. It was debatable at this point.

Wrestling in the middle of the cell, two pairs of hands were clasped together, tugging and pulling at the others fisted palms in some pointless battle for power. A vein fluctuated on the temple of a frightening train wreck, and as Tsunade's nails dug into Naruto's knuckles, their smiles disturbingly grew in size.

"Give it up granny." The male voice hissed out among tremors, never loosening his hold on the abnormally strong woman's hands. Tsunade gave the youth a look that would make grown men piss themselves before readjusting her stance. She had an expression akin to that of a killers.

"You don't know who you're messing with you brat," she gritted out, "I'm way out of your league!"

"Like hell you are...!"

Naruto was livid. He was pinched for time and he didn't know _when _Kiba would get there: but that didn't weaken his resolve. In fact, he was more determined now then ever to get the information he wanted from this old hag; even if he had to rip it out from her half-done boob job himself. This trivial tug o' war had begun after the Nara Police department unhinged a swollen head from its metal prison.

After the two haughty individuals, fuming in their own way were asked to move to different sides of the jail cell, Naruto caught sight of _it_. Around the other blonds neck was a necklace. Now, he wasn't as crazy about jewelry as the next guy, but this particular necklace snagged his attention for reasons he wished it hadn't: it was his uncles.

He couldn't, wouldn't, and would never mistake one of his uncles prized possessions for a fake or subtle likeness. He'd seen it way too many times when he was younger to the point where he memorized every detail in craftsmanship, every arch, and every smooth crevice. He might as well call himself an expert. Ignoring the orders that were given from the officers guarding the cell, he rushed to the woman's side and grabbed the crystal by his thumb and pointer finger, lifting it up to the light. The light blue, luminous object shone strikingly, reminding Naruto of the numerous times Jiraiya would hold it up to the sun and become lost in a funny daze.

The necklace had extreme sentimental value to his uncle, even until the day he died. And when Jiraiya passed on, he'd remember it'd been missing from the open casket where it once hung stunningly around the geezers aging neck. Naruto's voice was hoarse with rage when he finally said, "How did you get this?"

With an arrogant huff, Tsunade slapped his hand away. She tucked the piece of jewelry inside her abnormally large jugs and proceeded to walk further from him. Naruto wouldn't allow that.

"Hey- I'm talkin' to you!"

"I advise you not touch me again, kid. It's none of your business anyways."

"Of course it's my business!" Naruto yelled, "That's my uncles necklace, there's no way I wouldn't recognize it!"

This seemed to pique Tsunade's interest. She turned around and placed her manicured hands on her hips, lifting a elegant eyebrow. "I've had this for eight years, so I doubt your uncle would have anything like this, it's one of a kind."

Now Naruto was positive they were talking about the same necklace, but before he could open his mouth to voice it he was halted by the sight of a broken women, staring into the distance with a grave expression on her face. Reaching in between her breasts, Tsunade took a small flask that was so cleverly hidden inside her beige blouse and popped the orifice open in one fluid movement, sneakily taking a quick whisk. Wiping her mouth of the excess liquid with the back of her hand, Tsunade then let out a ragged sigh, stuffing it back inside her shirt before lowering her head wistfully. What happened to the shrew from earlier? The one who seemed to mirror him in perseverance and strength was now a ghost of her former self, withering away right before his eyes.

A grief stricken, tired smile graced her lips. Naruto could only watch in a mixture of confusion and sadness as her aurous orbs remained downcast on the floor, and deep creases formed between her eyes, making her look a lot older then she was. Tsunade seemed torn about something. Was it the possible guilt of having stolen jewelry from a helpless, dead pervert? No- Naruto knew it was wrong to make assumptions like that, but he still couldn't piece together why or how she had gotten that necklace. What was her relationship with his uncle? He needed to know.

"...'Sunade?" Naruto tried awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say. He was positive he'd never seen anyone so heartbroken before; and it made him feel sort of guilty for prodding. However, a minute later, the boy decided to break the eerie atmosphere. He didn't know what was going on, but Naruto was definitely going to find out. And he figured that as long as he treaded carefully, he was sure he'd get the answers he sought.

"...Granny?" He tried again.

There was a loud snap.

"WHAT–"

Well, so much for treading carefully.

" –DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" She roared monstrously, honeyed locks slithering menacingly in different directions. Jumping back Naruto quickly added, "I-it's just that my uncle died eight years ago too, yanno?" When suddenly, without warning, Tsunade fell alarmingly silent. Her posture slacked, shoulders drooped down comically before a bitter smile encompassed her raw features. Naruto didn't know whether she was about to smack him or break down and cry, but either way he braced himself for the former and took a defensive stance, swallowing hard. Tsunade stared for a while before whispering, "Is that so..."

She leaned against the wall, fiddling with the chain.

"Then I'm guessing you're Jiraiya's nephew, am I right?"

Naruto's eyes widened, his suspicions confirmed. Nodding his head fervently his brows scrunched together, jabbing a finger her way like she had committed some heinous crime. And for all he knew, she probably had. "You bet I am. And who are you?"

"I already told you, kid. Or are you deaf _and_ stupid?"

"That's not what I meant." He huffed. "What were you to the geezer? Were you friends or something?"

Tsunade scoffed.

"I thought maybe he'd have mentioned it to you."

"Huh?"

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, the mysterious woman's lips upturned into a wicked sneer.

"But I guess the fool never had a chance to tell you, not that it would've mattered anyways."

Now he really wasn't following. Just what was she going on about? Naruto was sure that Jiraiya would have told him about her. It was just in the weirdo's character to mention any functioning vagina within a five foot radius, but the fact that it was his first time hearing about Tsunade tripped him out. Jiraiya had never been the type to keep silent about woman, especially ones like Tsunade with crazy curves and humungo beach balls for boobs. Hours listening to the creep rant about that '_hot soccer mom at the convenience store,' _and the '_sexy stores clerk' _who handed him his change, made Naruto confident that Jiraiya would never forget a pretty face.

Not discussing a female for even a second would have undeniably been the first signs of dementia, or an unexplained rip in the universe, because there was just **no **way. So what was this? Folding his arms across his chest in thought, the blonde tried to remember his past conversations. If there was any mentioning of a Tsunade. Anything at all. But he came up with nothing. To say he was getting frustrated would be an understatement at this point. In fact, this whole day really wasn't turning out too great for him, considering he almost died for gods sake and his favorite place in the entire world was being shut down by Lucifer himself.

"Hah," Tsunade smirked, leering back in her seat smugly to watch him. "I'm guessing he really didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?" Naruto snapped. His patience wearing thin. But instead of answering, Tsunade leaned against the wall and shut her eyes, yawning a bit before settling comfortably against it. Her chest moved ever so slowly, expression laxed in mock sleep. Naruto's fisted palms open and closed. She had the nerve to try to take a nap? Right now of all times? The boy balled up his fists and gaped as she continued to stay that way until Naruto exploded and stomped his leg on the ground like a little kid, completely and irreversibly pissed. He forgot all about Kiba in that moment. Right now, it was him versus the shrew.

In high school, Naruto had a rather nasty temper, which usually involved him ending face down in the school's garbage bin, or possibly face up with a detention slapped to his forehead. Since then, or rather, since Sasuke, he'd learned to control that temper. To be honest he didn't find it all that hard. Sasuke had been the only one to really ruffle his feathers, pluck them out, and jab him in the sides with the pointy ends (if that description even made sense). So composing himself, whether in the face of a nasty employee, evil manager, or just a bitchy grocery cashier, turned out to be a piece of cake. Though it didn't mean he didn't speak his mind under his breath.

He was sick of all the secrecy and he'd make sure that he knew just what the heck was going on. If she wanted to mess with him, then two can play it that game.

"Granny!"

Tsunade's lip twitched.

"Can't you see I'm trying to sleep here? I have a terrible migraine."

"You didn't answer my question," Naruto growled. The other occupants of the cell were watching the exchange like it was a Japanese soap opera, and a very faint, "Tell him," was uttered by one of the colorful group of spectators, which in turn earned them all an icy glare by the leading lady herself.

"Stay OUT OF THIS!" Tsunade hissed at them, and in turn made them further acquaint themselves with the wall. Naruto immediately glared right back at her and pointed at inmates, who then wished they hadn't gotten involved at all.

"They're right! TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!"

"They have nothing to do with this, it's ancient history." Her tone was clipped, reluctant.

If it was ancient history then why was she having such a hard time telling him? What was their to hide? Naruto felt sick to his stomach because Jiraiya's death had been so sudden, and all of his uncle's things had to be sold to pay back the people he owed. The only thing Naruto was able to keep were the stories his uncle had written. But that too was taken away one day, during an unfortunate incident.

Naruto's eyes darkened a bit. He wouldn't think about _that event _right now. He'd spent too much time trying to put all those things behind him and he'd be damned if he let Sasuke, or anyone else for that matter, help them resurface. Still, right in front of him, around an undeserving neck was one of the only things left that belonged to his uncle: and he wanted it back. He found all that he worked for these past few years crumble away, his big mouth once again doing the talking this evening as he burst out shouting,"THAT THING WAS THE PERVERT'S PRIDE AND JOY. DID YOU STEAL IT FROM HIM OR NOT?!"

Tsunade looked appalled, standing up and angrily storming towards Naruto at a brisk pace. He didn't shy away as her face almost pressed against his and they could smell each others breath. One reeking of alcohol and the other of pork broth, Naruto stared on with concentrated focus. The other men in the vicinity cringed. Their crimes, from drunk driving to sexual harassment, seemed now not worth the time spent in the presence of these two psychos. They all solemnly swore they'd never mess with the law again, and as they all took their time to contemplate on what they'd done, Naruto and Tsunade were _this _close to ripping each others throats out.

"How dare you..." Tsunade whispered lowly, grabbing him by the collar. The hurt in her eyes and the shock of the question still didn't deter Naruto from finding the final piece of the puzzle. And even as the officers nearest them screamed, "Hey! Knock it off you two!" Neither hesitated. It was like they were both cut from the same stubborn cloth and the tailor sold them to different merchants. Now that they met a clash was inevitable.

"You heard me..." Naruto challenged. "Or did ya seduce his corpse or something to get it."

"How DARE YOU." She said back, this time exceptionally more loudly, and Naruto didn't have time to brace himself as a sudden, brute force met the skin of his cheek, knocking him backwards and into the pile of deadbeats. The crunch of his jaw, quite possibly cracking from the impact, the sounds of keys jingling to open the jail door, and the moans of the bodies caught in the crossfire were the only sounds he heard as he flew into the concrete surface. If he weren't delirious from it all Naruto would swear he saw her hands smoking a bit from the hit, but in between consciousness it was a safe bet that he'd been probably imagining it.

Citric, crazy female eyes fell on the policemen so quickly and deadly that they couldn't help but freeze mid-task, their blood chilling in their veins; but they still tried to not let it get to them. They opened the door and very cautiously stuck a foot inside, rambling nervously that if she didn't stop their would be more charges and serious legal repercussions, but Tsunade didn't seem to be listening.

"..Ahh..wha, wha, what?" Naruto garbled stupidly, unable to process what people were saying and why he was seeing three of her. Tsunade stormed towards him in that moment and, after barely gathering his wits, he made to roll out of the way with a less than manly shriek. Another fist punched a dent in the wall, about an inch from where he was slouched. Naruto was confident he shat himself but now wasn't the time to check.

"GET BACK HERE BRAT!"

Crap!

"Ma'am, we are going to ask you to STOP immediately! Or we WILL be forced to use-**GAH**!"

And then there went a bench.

He wasn't kidding, a fucking BENCH flew right over his head, ripped clean off from its hinges, and knocked the officer out. This caused him to stumble into a few more of his brethren who were now requesting backup in their own precinct.

Swollen red from exerting so much physical labor, Tsunade tsked. Naruto stood up quickly and tried to reason with her, because he just couldn't, wouldn't hit a girl. However, as the situation would have it, he didn't have much of an option in terms of defending himself. He was shit out of luck with police protection and he was certain that if he tried to block her attacks he'd be left with a inch deep hole in his hands. But just what was he to do?

Things just really weren't looking good today, he couldn't help but think. And where was Kiba when he needed him?!

"Look, all I wanted was an answer. You don't have to go TEARING THIS PLACE APART!" He said, staring around them at the damage, trying to save his hide.

"You're an idiot!" Tsunade spat, "How DARE you accuse ME of something so low!"

"Well I didn't have much of a choice! You were actin' all shady, lady."

Another fist flew, but this time he was able to catch it with his hand. He didn't have time to rejoice though when the other free limb extended to finish the job it's partner couldn't, and Naruto was out of breath when he blocked it, both hands now locked in battle. She was almost ripping his arms off.

This was insane.

Beyond insane.

He felt like he was fighting with a gorilla. No, scratch that- a Bull that was twice it's size. Naruto hadn't felt a rush like this in well, FOREVER, and a part of him, the old part that used to always get into fights was loving it. His adrenaline was pumping, his heart was racing, and as the two of them stared into each others eyes a faint smile tugged on both of there lips.

Neither of them intended on giving up anytime soon: and for almost two hours, they didn't.

* * *

The damage was bad, but it could've been worse.

"Sir, we have eight officers down. And five civilians inside the cell were taken to the Lee medical hospital with three broken ribs, and a fractured skull."

"I see." Shikaku responded exhaustedly, calculating that to be minimal of what he originally thought. As he stepped towards Naruto and Tsunade, now looking worse for wear but neither breaking their hold, he shook his head and sighed. "I hoped I wouldn't see you here," he said directly to the ill-tempered female. "This is the seventh time in two weeks."

In the background several uniformed bodies littered the floor, all groaning and warning the chief to not come any closer to the deranged woman, but he merely grunted. Can't say they didn't try. Naruto poked his head to the side to regard him curiously, but didn't loosen his grip. So this was the head hancho of the Nara police department, huh. For some reason the name 'Nara' sounded familiar, but he had bigger things to worry about right now: like beating this witch. Still, what the other man said didn't go over his head in the slightest. Seven times in two weeks? What was that all about?

"Seventh time for what, granny?" Naruto asked between haggard breaths, but the other blond ignored him and glared, giving him a rough push forward before letting go. This resulted in a not-too-cushioned fall on his ass and the whiskered man threw his head back and moaned in pain. "What was THAT for?" He cried.

"It wasn't like the last time. I just had a quick sip and was wrongly accused with speeding," Tsunade rebutted haughtily, ignoring Naruto all together. "And besides, rather than wasting your time with me I thought your department had more important things to take care of, like drug lords and criminals." She blew her bangs out of her face. Reaching between her breasts once more Tsunade threw the empty flax at Nara's feet, sporting a smug look on her face despite being in the presence of someone with much higher authority. Shikaku could only sigh once more at this.

"Watch it. Just because we went to school together doesn't mean you won't get the same treatment as any other woman who breaks the law. Besides, there aren't too many criminals left on the street since my department stepped in, and I can't keep covering you every time you do something like this. . ." Shikaku leaned against the cell bars and frowned. "Jiraiya wouldn't have wanted to see you like this."

Naruto's eyes widened. Did he just say what he thought he said?

"Hey!"

The Chief looked at him.

"How did you know my uncle?" Naruto asked, shifting his gaze back and forth from Tsunade to Shikaku. Shikaku smiled slightly. "How'd I know him? Me and your uncle used to be classmates in our younger years."

This surprised Naruto. Not so much that Jiraiya went to school, but that the guy even had friends. From his memory, Jiraiya had always been a solid hermit. He'd come back from long trips to exotic places (the nearest Women's spa) and just sit in his office and write. It kind of made Naruto happy to know that the sexual harasser was acquainted with actual human beings, and not just court ordered injunctions. He was learning more and more stuff every day, and getting some answers right now was like a breath of fresh air.

"It's nice to finally meet you Naruto. My name is Shikaku Nara, I run this department."

Glancing at Tsunade, Shikaku continued in a gruff voice, "And Tsunade over there also used to be a friend of his. Well, I guess you could say much more than a friend."

"Eh?" Naruto tilted his head, "Whaddya mean?"

"You didn't know?" The Chief said, confused. "They were due to be married before he—"

"—That's ENOUGH!" A spiteful voice burned like acid, causing everyone to fall silent. Flaxen hair fell over darkened yellow orbs, Tsunade's entire frame shaking with the ferocity of an earthquake. Instead of taking her anger out on Naruto, which he was ready for since he was the closest, he watched in shock as a single, lone tear fell down her cheek. "Just...Just shut up..." She hissed through clenched teeth, turning her head away with a gentle slur.

Naruto didn't know how to react; wrapping his head around Jiraiya being engaged was like trying to accept that pluto wasn't a planet. It just wasn't right. Didn't freaking make a lick of sense. Thankfully, a cough from behind saved him a response as a younger man, around the same age as Naruto, appeared leaning against the doorway. He had a stack of papers in his hands and a police badge shone proudly on his vest, well kept and polished. Like Shikaku his hair was in a spiky ponytail, save for the scar or the bags that came with old age, and as dark eyes analyzed the entire scene with a sufficient amount of boredom, realization swept over said features, causing the faintest trace of a grin to grace pale lips. "Well, well, if it isn't Naruto. It's been a while hasn't it."

Crisscrossing his eyes to see who it was, Naruto's lip jutted out in thought; but once he did figure it out, his aquatic eyes sparkled with recognition.

"Pineapple head!"

The other boy rolled his eyes.

"Ugh, that old nickname? I told you it's Shikamaru. Sheesh, even after all these years you're still the same lamebrain."

Naruto laughed. It was awesome to see him after all these years. In high school Shikamaru was one of the only decent guys in a place surrounded by cliques and labels, and to this day Naruto still didn't know why the lazy genius bothered to go to a school like Konohagakure. He'd been way too smart for it anyways.

He remembered how Shikamaru would sleep through all his classes but still get A's on all his tests! That honestly used to piss him off since it took all his will power to study, and Naruto remembered having one sided arguments about it while the other dozed off.

But he wasn't complaining. If anything he should be grateful Shikamaru had been there. Although Shikamaru didn't mean to be, nor did he strive to be (because it was too much work), he had been an unlikely hero to Naruto in the face of utter chaos. That smack in the head of common sense when things went south was always easily administered when he needed it, via a simple "Don't be stupid," or "Calm down." Very simply put. Always very short.

And albeit he never voiced it, and Shikamaru didn't for that matter, Naruto always thought of them as good friends. He blamed himself for never keeping touch after high school. The only one he stayed in contact with (and ended up living with) was Kiba. Well, there was also Hinata, but he hadn't gotten an email from her in weeks and that was especially strange; she usually responded immediately.

Everyone else from that old place, well, just speaking to them brought unpleasant memories. Though he recounted a few others that were pretty nice to him, like bushy brows, fat ass, and bug boy. He heard some crazy story that Rock Lee moved to the mountains to wrestle bears with his dad. As for Choji and Shino, Kiba told him Choji went overseas to try every food in the world; and Shino just disappeared. Which didn't surprise him, since Naruto was 100% certain he'd turned into an insect and ran off with his own kind.

High school wasn't something the young man had planned on thinking about until he was a hundred and crippled, but too many things had happened today, and that dream was unfortunately shattered. Breaking out his reverie he noticed Tsunade slumped against the wall, looking anything but okay. The blonde felt an ache in his chest still from the mind boggling news, and as he walked towards her to see if granny was going to combust, his view was blocked by Shikaku who shook his head, motioning for his son to come forward.

"Shika, take Naruto to the lobby. His friend is waiting for him."

"Okay, got it."

The tanned man frowned. He wished Kiba stayed MIA for just a little bit longer, but began to follow Shikamaru out nonetheless. If Tsunade was the perverts wife to be, than no wonder she was so reluctant to talk about it. They were supposed to be married and...that asshole, like any commitment, clocked out early.

Naruto sighed. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel like an ass right now, but he figured that after he got out of here and found a way to stop Sasuke (still number one priority) he would look her up and see if he could talk to her again. He wasn't letting this go that easily. There were still too many unanswered questions. Things that needed to be said, and he was determined to see to them.

"And Naruto."

Naruto stopped in his tracks, looking over his shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"We'll keep in touch."

Nodding slightly Naruto waved with a nervous type of half smile. He hoped that the next time he'd see the officer of the law he wouldn't be in a jail cell, but if Sasuke didn't give up soon, he could quite possibly end up in prison for manslaughter.

They came to the main office where Kiba was moving around like a mad man. Trying to remain inconspicuous with his worry, the brunet dug his hands into his pockets. Took them out. Stuffed them back in. Took them out again and visibly shifted on his heel with an embarrassed cough, noticing many intrigued eyes on him. Shooting the cops a dirty look he roughed up his hair a bit and grumbled something under his breath from embarrassment. Upon seeing Naruto, however, the words became painstakingly clear.

"You know you're dead right?"

"Nice to see you too!" Naruto beamed cheekily, not flinching when a pair of twitchy limbs lifted him off the ground by his shirt.

"You have any damn clue how freaked out I was? Jesus man I about near had a fuckin' stroke!"

"Sorry Kib's," he chuckled, "when we get home I'll go straight to my room."

"Dude, I'm not joking right now."

Putting his sore best friend down, what with being tossed around all day, Kiba looked straight at the floor, a bunch of words dancing on his tongue but much too proud to voice them. He'd almost lost a brother today, and even if the handicapped drop out was too stupid to see it, Akamaru wasn't his only family. Naruto was just as important if not, dare he say it, more.

Scrunching his hands in some deformed ball (he really didn't know what to do with them), Kiba let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and sucked up his oh-so-manly pride. Any bystander would think, from a glance, that the toothy ruffian was having a seizure, what with his contorted expression and jerky arms as he embraced Naruto in a very warm hug. Naruto stood their awkwardly as Kiba held him before uncomfortably holding him back. As close as they were, there was only one other time where the two males engaged in such intimacy; but that was a story for another day, a story they swore on their souls they'd never speak of.

"So uh..." Kiba cleared his throat, pulling away fast. "How was the big house? Ya drop the soap?"

"Well he did almost die in a holding cell." Someone piped from his spot on the wall. "Seems like only Naruto would get into situations like this."

"No way!" Kiba exclaimed in surprise, rushing up to Shikamaru who he'd hadn't even seen come in until now, "Nice to see ya bro! Been a while hasn't it?"

Shikamaru smirked, kicking off the wall.

"Yeah, three years. It seems today I've been seeing all kinds of familiar faces." His eyes drooped down, a loud yawn escaping his throat. "It's honestly wearing me out..."

"Heh, you never change. So you're a cop eh? Never expected you to be a hard worker."

"I'll pretend that wasn't an insult. And ya, I'm planning on taking over this place when the old guy retires." Shikamaru said pleasantly, "But it doesn't look like that's anytime soon. Dad still has a lot of stamina left, apparently." If the mess inside were anything to go on.

Naruto's face twisted painfully as they talked. As much as he loved standing around and catching up, there was an even bigger problem he had to take care of. Way bigger than Sasuke, than granny, or Kiba and Shika for that matter: and that problem was his stomach. An odd combo of a motorcycle engine and an oil machine digging into the earth erupted from a certain delinquents tummy, making him noisy with obvious need. With big eyes, much too big and wide for Naruto, he stared up at the two nearest victims in the room, the question blatantly clear. "So, eh heh...you guys got money?"

Both males groaned unanimously.

This would really take up half of their paychecks.

* * *

"Aaah, much better!"

Five bowls of curry rice later (and that was no exaggeration), Naruto was stuffed, laying his head on the table in the restaurant booth with a satisfied expression. Kiba and Shikamaru, unfortunately, were mourning the loss of their hard earned cash as they poked pathetically at their small bowls of white rice. All the while Shikamaru wondered how he was even dragged into this.

"So," the cop said, continuing where they left off between Naruto's loud chewing, "What you're telling me is, the reason you got arrested was because you wanted to save some noodle place?"

"Yup."

"And so you went there and found out it was Uchiha, am I right?"

"Pretty much..." Naruto muttered numbly, feeling all that pent up aggravation from earlier come to life again. Putting his hand to his chin, Shikamaru set his fork down and closed his eyes.

"If it's Uchiha than I'd say the chances of saving that place are slim to none."

"Ya Naru," Kiba agreed. "And this is coming from genius over here. We all know that asshole too well. There's no way he'd let up on this, especially if it means screwing with _you_. The guy's always had it out for you from as long as I can remember. Like that time during the school pep rally, where you were the mascot and he was on the basketball team? Threw that ball straight at your head and knocked you right into Ms. Kurenai's boobs."

"Don't remind me..." Naruto whined. "I got detention for a week because I couldn't pull myself off!"

"Point is, I don't think talking to Sasuke is going to change his mind. If anything it's going to make him eager to go through with it." Shikamaru finished, fiddling with his badge. "But you could talk to his brother, Itachi. He's always seemed like the more reasonable one to deal with, and I heard from outside sources that he's more open to suggestion."

"Yeah well how's he gonna do that? I bet Sasuke's got that place on lock down because of Nar's stunt. There's no WAY he'd get within a mile of there."

"Wow Kiba, thanks a lot for the support," The blonde said sarcastically, but Kiba was serious this time. Pushing his bowl to the side Kiba shook his head.

"As much as I'm all for sticking it to the man and fighting for the cause, I think you should **really** let this one go. And I can't believe I'm saying this but...after today, I don't think this is worth it. Especially now that you know who it is, of all people it's Sasuke? How fucked up is that?! I mean, after what he and Neji DID to you at the end of senior year-"

"-I get it." Naruto was quick to cut him off, suddenly feeling sick from just the mentioning of _that_. But still, even though Kiba and Shikamaru were right, he couldn't just let Sasuke take this away from him. He'd let that happen too many times in the past, and he'd bite off his own fingers before letting it happen again.

"Maybe you should find some other place...I heard there's this new shop opening, close by, with some pretty decent ramen."

Now he was just tuning Kiba out.

"What more can you do?" His roomie said dejectedly, "Chain yourself to the restaurant?"

Naruto's lips practically levitated on their own.

"Anyways, you burned a hole in my pocket. Before worrying about more food, you should be worrying about how you'll pay me back. 'Sides you just quit your last job, what are you going to do now? All this defender of justice shit and you still don't know what you're doing with yourself, get a grip! On top of that, I almost had a heart attack today jackass, there's my medical bills you gotta cover. I swear my blood pressure spiked some."

"Kiba." Shikamaru interupted.

"What?"

He motioned towards the empty seat where Naruto _once_ was.

It took about a minute for Kiba to realize what he'd done, or rather, what he'd said. Kicking the table he slapped a hand to his forehead and cursed.

"Shit!"

* * *

**Author's closing notes:  
**Longest. Chapter. Ever. And all, to hopefully, make up for my absence and my complete jerk-ness of not updating sooner.

This was Un-Beta'd so I might've typo'd or made a few mistakes. If so, I ask for your utmost patience and understanding, and please Review to let me know your thoughts! I've finally gotten back into this story and I'll really try to remain like this for as long as I can. A recent review made me really motivated into finishing this chapter, and I'm sure you know who you are but if you don't it was a commenter named FTR.

Thank you !

I'm also working on 2 more Naruto fics right now, so that's coming soon.

Thank you guys soo much for reading. So many unanswered questions? What happened between Sasuke and Naruto in high school, huh? It must've been pretty bad for even Kiba to second guess himself like this. In the next chapter we'll see where Naruto ran off too, but I'm sure you all have some pretty good guesses. **I /will/ update two weeks from now, on the 1st**, because it's a reasonable time for me to write the next chapter and I'm trying to be realistic. But it WILL happen. **No monthly waits**. Two weeks. Maybe even earlier.

Poor Kiba needs to keep his mouth shut. Till next time!


	5. The Temporary Truce

**Disclaimer: **I don't own it yadayadayada-

**Author's Rant**: See! I didn't lie guys! Let me give myself a million pats on the back! Patpatpatpatpat. Anyways, I'm happy for anyone still reading, and for liking this story. It really means a whole bunch. It was a silly idea. Still pretty silly.

100% sure it's grown sillier, but regardless, thank you.

This chapter was easier to write than the others, though I hope I'm writing Sasuke well. He's a pretty hard character to get into (for me at least). I find it easier to write from Naruto's point of view and Kiba's than Sasukes because he's so...-Gah, not the happiest fish in the fish tank.

**Warnings: **Bad language, an even badder negotiation, and the beginnings of a storm starting to emerge.

* * *

**The Temporary Truce**

* * *

Sasuke had a penchant for smelling trouble. Call it a sixth sense, if you will, for figuring out it would be a bad day before it began. Although, in the businessman's case, he could never discern if it was just intuition or paranoia, he trusted his gut. It was the only thing he would listen to that defied logistical reasoning, and he'd follow it till he worked himself into an early grave. Which according to Itachi, might be soon.

Rousing out of his sheets the morning sun wasn't kind. Sasuke glared through his closed eyelids as the UV rays assaulted his vision, causing him to hide his head in his pillow and groan. Today was an important day. Rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling, he drew a deep breath. Today was the day they'd tear down that poor excuse for an eatery and turn it into something that wasn't a waste of space.

Sasuke knew he was coming off as heartless, but when he weighed his company against a food joint on a scale, there was no contest. Besides, what's the loss of one restaurant in a neighborhood surrounding hundreds of noodle soaked spawns? There was sympathy and then, on the other end of the spectrum, there was stupidity; and Sasuke Uchiha wasn't stupid.

The raven smirked lightly to himself, gracefully pulling back the covers and slipping out of the bed. The loser would get over it. Naruto, being Naruto, would find some other sad, psychotic chef to cook him his bowls and guide him on that sickening path towards obesity. He was certain of it.

But as Sasuke sat up in bed and repeated such words to himself, that little voice in the back of his head, one that had remained silent all these years, awakened and screamed it wouldn't be so simple. Because Naruto, was not simple.

Simple minded, yes, but not _simple._

Sasuke needn't be reminded that this was the same Naruto Uzumaki that laced the inside of his locker with thumbtacks when he found out he was taking Sakura to the spring dance. The same, hard headed, dimwit that thought it would be clever to put laxatives in his water bottle come an important tournament. Sasuke recalled the time when he'd been giving a class speech and the blond let loose an army of toads on him, and his spectators, solely because that day he looked at him wrong.

Of course, Sasuke had gotten sweet revenge for every stunt.

Trust when he administered his own hell, Naruto's actions looked like a kid kicking dirt around in a sandbox. However, for whatever reason...whether it be the last burger in the lunch line or the last word in a conversation, Naruto would always, and most eagerly, fight him. And Sasuke was certain that did not, and would not change.

Not that it mattered _what _he did.

Sasuke wouldn't relent either way, so such childish pranks weren't going to work on him this time. What's done is done. This wasn't high school. Slipping out of his work clothes from yesterday (he must have fell asleep in them), Sasuke headed towards the bathroom to take a much desired shower. He undid his buttons patiently, letting the black dress shirt fall from his milky shoulders with little to no effort. He was still exhausted.

All night long he had the unfortunate displeasure of listening to news reporters go on and on about the _man who scaled the Uchiha building_. Every one of them, in different cheesy octaves to spark their viewers interest, hinted at some sort of lewd secret. Some even came up with grandiose conspiracy theories laced with manipulation, deceit, and scandal, all with Sasuke at the heart of it.

He was attractive, after all.

A great antagonist for an even greater plot since he was rich, brilliant, and as the female anchors called him "dangerously good looking."

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he let the last article of clothing greet his floor. None of them knew that, while they were tacking on more drama to fuel all the hype, the real reason behind a man almost falling to his death was because that same man was a mentally challenged.

He turned on the shower head and stepped under it. Pressing his forehead against the cool tiles, Sasuke closed his eyes and let the water slither down his shoulder blades.

Sasuke felt anxious.

In about three minutes they should have that structure demolished, then he won't ever have to hear that obnoxious voice again: and he was counting down the seconds.

Now, it wasn't the most momentous triumph. In fact, one could say Sasuke was feeling pretty indecisive right now. Something was eating at him but he didn't want to acknowledge what. Everything Itachi said last night about second chances, and rekindling bonds made his stomach hurt. Because once Ichiraku's was gone, then Naruto would disappear out of his life again. He'd retreat into his past and stay there, just as he had all these years. And as much as Sasuke wished it didn't happen, for a split of a second, he had wondered if that was what he really wanted.

Did he really want to watch Naruto go again?

Before he could delve into the uncomfortable subject matter much further, a ringing brought him out of his thoughts. Sasuke was thankful. He turned the handle and climbed out, wrapping a towel around his waist and combed a set of a wet fingers through his fine hair. If he hadn't stopped while he was ahead, he would have surfed some dangerous tides.

It didn't take him long to reach the source of the noise, his bedroom, as he noticed his phone hadn't stopped ringing and actually seemed insistent on him picking it up. Seeing as it would pause and start back up again, the CEO concluded it was probably urgent. Maybe the wreckers had finished, so Sasuke checked the caller ID.

It was Itachi.

"What is it?"

It was a lot more icy than he'd meant to sound, but Itachi was the last person he wanted to talk to right now.

"Sasuke, I need you to come down to the site immediately."

"Why?"

There was a pause. The faint sounds of angry workers in the background was the most Sasuke could pick up before Itachi started to speak again.

"Because we have a problem."

* * *

Sasuke was silent as he feasted his eyes upon the spectacle.

A _problem_ lacked the appropriate definition to describe what this was.

The word itself was being generous.

Sasuke had rushed over as fast as he could. Itachi's vague explanation didn't settle right with him. It wasn't like his brother to sugar coat any of the details, and doing so was a strong signal that something was indeed wrong. So when he reached the area he felt his fears confirmed at seeing that the building was still intact. Not a single scratch marred it's cheap, low budget walls. The ugly neon sign that read **Ichiraku** was still glowing proudly along with the morning sun, and he wanted to know who, and what was responsible.

"Why is _this,"_ Sasuke pointed towards the dirty shack, not even wanting to look at it, "still standing?"

Itachi said nothing, but the amused look on his face told him that he knew far too much. From the sea of people crowding the front entrance a worker emerged, looking just as angry, if not more, and for very good reason. He was an uncouth, sloppy middle aged man, who reeked of booze and cigarettes. Just the sight of him made the ramen shop look like the five star dining experience, and Sasuke didn't know why Itachi would hire someone this trashy, but he held his tongue. For now.

"What happened?"

Whom he supposed was the head of the operation, cringed. Sasuke can admit that he was rather intimidating when the situation called for it.

"We were supposed ta' be done hours ago but some kid won't MOVE!"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"What kid?" He questioned, knowing full well he wouldn't like the answer. Reluctantly lifting his gaze towards the angry mob of people who were shouting obscenities, the irate worker led him towards the source of the commotion where a certain, dopey eyed boy was handcuffed to the doors handle, lips pursed into a stubborn pout. To make matters worse, there was an impressively large chain locked around his waist that was attached to a sign hanging right above the door. How in the hell Naruto managed to do that and shackle himself together was an anomaly in itself. On a list of extremities, this probably ranked number ten next to the infamous exploding toilet incident; a tale much too long to tell.

Naruto looked up and his expression did a miraculous transformation from smug with himself to outraged. He obviously wasn't over Sasuke arresting him. Not that Sasuke gave a single fuck.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking a stand!" Naruto shouted, moving to cross his arms, but was quickly reminded that his movements were limited.

"Quite." Sasuke replied sorely, "And how did you manage all this?"

"I had help. I paid a hobo five hundred yen to tie me up and he was so awesome! I swear, hobo's are like the secret cowboys of society. Homeless by day, and bad asses by night. So, whaddya think of his handy work?"

From how tight the binds were, Sasuke _thought_ it was a miracle Naruto could even breathe.

"I think you're stupid for trusting someone off the street to help you make a fool of yourself."

"And they took more then just cash." Itachi stated dryly, noticing that right next to Naruto's feet was an empty wallet. Picking it up to wave it in front of the others face, Naruto's nostrils flared comically in realization before he slammed one foot into the ground, and threw his head back in a frustrated scream. He couldn't believe it!

"That hobo ripped me off!"

What a thief!

"They took advantage because you made yourself vulnerable. Maybe if you hadn't done this in the first place you could have avoided being mugged."

"Well maybe if you weren't such a bastard, I wouldn't have had to resort to this!"

"I apologize." Sasuke spat sarcastically, "Next time, I'll remember to leave you alone when you're hanging by one hand from my building. It isn't like it's any of my business, right?"

"Well you're the one that started it all! If you hadn't screwed around with Ichiraku's none of this woulda' happened. What goes around comes around!"

"That didn't even make sense. If you're going to use a saying, use it correctly."

"Urrgh, shutup!"

This was all so utterly ridiculous, yet Sasuke could see Itachi enjoying every minute of it.

All around him the constructors they hired for this project were yelling, asking when they would able to start or if they could just pack up and leave. They didn't sign up for this. None of them expected this kind of trouble, and there was no way they could proceed as planned with Naruto cuffed to the shop. It wasn't in their contract to build a building on a dead body. They weren't getting paid enough for this, so maybe they should just call it quits.

This and more was muttered under exhausted breaths, and at hearing it, Naruto couldn't help himself. He smiled like mad and the urge to laugh was growing more and more unbearable as the seconds ticked by. As soon as those words left dog boy's mouth he'd felt the pull of destiny. Well, maybe it wasn't so much destiny and more like sleep deprivation, but Naruto had been motivated. Empowered, actually, into one upping Sasuke and showing him that the war has just begun.

Kiba, for once, had given him a golden idea.

Sasuke looked about ready to detonate, and Naruto knew it was only a matter of time until he agreed to call off the hit on his home. If the asshole thought going to jail would stop him, than he obviously hadn't grasped who he was messing with; and victory would be his even if he had to play dirty to get it.

The raven wasn't happy. While Naruto was glowing with pride, Sasuke was finding it all the more difficult to keep his cool. That toothy smile and that bright, detestable abomination known as Naruto's hair, was gradually setting him off. This wasn't going to happen. No—he would make sure that Naruto earned himself a ten year sentence in the worst penitentiary the Japanese legal system could offer. He just needed to deduce how to get him there.

While Sasuke hatched a plan, that same troublemaker was wrinkling his nose and twisting his head left and right, mumbling something about being itchy but not being able to do squat about it. He rubbed his face against his shoulder but still felt uncomfortable, having the nerve to ask the person nearest if they could scratch it for him.

A prompt_ fuck you_ was all he received, to which in turn he grinned and blew a raspberry.

Sasuke suddenly smirked.

He knew what he needed to do.

"Naruto."

"Yea? What is it?" Naruto responded snidely, unaware of what was about to transpire.

Sasuke stepped forward.

"I'm going to count to three."

Naruto snorted.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Here he was, taking up Sasuke's day, and the other thought he was in a position to make threats? He was the one making the demands here.

"What are you, my _mom?_"

Sasuke paused, imagining a scenario where he was, in fact, the idiots parent. Give him a few hours and he'd be arrested for child abuse. Anyone with the patience to deal with Naruto when he was little must've had the soul of a saint. Or been just as crazy, because there was no way he could've done it.

"No." He was trying to think of choice words, "but I pity the women who was."

That statement hit every nerve. Every goddamned nerve in Naruto's body and Sasuke could take that _one, two, three _and shove it up his ass. Scowling at him, Naruto cocked his head to the side, having no intention of listening to him now. If that was how he wanted to do this than so be it.

"Well ya better start counting."

It was the answer Sasuke expected.

Holding up one finger he humorlessly said, "One."

Naruto looked away. What was the worst Sasuke could do? Tickle him to death? There was no way he'd lay a finger on him with all these witnesses around.

"Two."

Sasuke's voice was further away now, but Naruto didn't notice it. He was too caught up in his own rebellious bubble to give it a second thought.

The roaring of an engine coming to life was what made him finally look up and quickly wish he had another second left. Everyone cleared a path as Sasuke, powering a once abandoned twenty seven foot bulldozer, revved the engine and started forward. How he knew how to work a tractor didn't make Naruto anymore clueless than the next guy, but the fact of the matter is that he _did. _Sasuke leaned back in his seat, stepping on the gas with a sneer.

"Three."

Well this wasn't going to end well.

"Whoa!" Naruto ended up screaming bloody murder, trying his fucking hardest to escape the binds but to no avail. "Whoa-Whoawhoawhoawhoa, WHOA! Hold on a second! What are you doing?!" He hollered, inching further back as much as he could. No one got in the way as Sasuke slowly trekked forward, the mould blade casting a shadow over the whiskered man's face as it closed in, almost forebodingly.

He wouldn't really run him over, right? He was just trying to scare him. But it seemed Sasuke was intent on not just dismantling him, but killing him. That look in his eyes held no traces of kidding around. For once Naruto was beginning to think that maybe all this _wasn't _worth it. Three near death experiences in less than twenty four hours was _not _something to be proud of, and he was sure that old man Ichiraku wouldn't appreciate losing his best customer in a bulldozing accident.

But still, his conscious wouldn't appreciate him chickening out. Sasuke was just trying to make him scream uncle. Toss in the towel. Give up when he had come SO far.

So although he knew these thoughts might be his last, he wanted to go down with dignity. Honor.  
The steel tracks were now just inches away from his wore down sneakers. Ah, screw it! It didn't matter if he was going as a hero, he was still _going. _Flinching as the rumbling grew louder, Naruto prepared himself for the violent crushing...that never came.

"That's enough, Sasuke."

A voice never sounded so angelic. Stopping just a mere centimeter from the older Uchiha's form, Sasuke peered from out of the vehicle with a sour look. He didn't appreciate Itachi getting in the way. He had a score to settle with this guy who insisted on turning his world upside down.

Itachi placed a hand on the cutting edge and sighed. Sasuke couldn't control himself around Naruto, and he should have figured when they met it would lead to a bloody altercation.

"We can discuss this peacefully."

"There is no discussion." Sasuke snapped.

"But there is."

Peering over at Naruto, who looked out of breath and sweaty with fear, Itachi smiled eerily. Naruto quirked a hesitant smile in return. He didn't like where this was going.

"You're willing to do anything to save this restaurant, am I correct?" He asked, to which the blond nodded slowly.

"U-uh...y-yeah! Yeah, I am."

"Good."

Placing Naruto's wallet back into his pocket, he patted it and stared dead into those pair of confused eyes. Naruto would soon learn that when Itachi made a proposition, there was no room for negotiation. Not a single liberty of refusal, and trying to leave was like trying to out run a fighter jet. Just downright impossible.

"Then I have a proposal for you."

* * *

**Author's closing notes:**  
Well, how's that for an agreement?  
Review and tell me your thoughts?

Do you think Sasukes happy about this? Naruto sure isn't, and this sure didn't make things any better between them. On the bright side, his favorite place in the world was temporarily spared! There is hope for Ichiraku's!

I guess one of Kiba's ideas didn't suck after all.

Though this one was kind of a lucky break.

Thanks for reading!


End file.
